I must admit that this last week has been on the busier side of things. Between all of the interviews, working, revising of resumes, continually looking for employment, and other necessities of life I have barely had time to relax or spend time with my family. My state of busyness, however, has not deterred God from correcting me and reproving me about some things. One of those things is prayer and my devotion to him. I will cover this in a later blog, perhaps in the next few days or so. The other thing that God has really been dealing with me about is my blog and more specifically the one I wrote last week Reflections After a Job Interview.
For those who did not read it, I will give a quick recap. I had an interview last week and it pretty well besides the fact that it prompted me to think about the disparities that I, and other people like me, face as we look for employment. Everyone knows that it has been rough out in the job market over the last couple of years, the high unemployment rate is proof of that. However, the search is even more difficult among people of color and women. Although this is true, the way that I communicate this needs to be done differently. This is where I feel God has reproved me so to speak.
In hindsight, I should not have written while I was angry. A few weeks ago I read something to that affect and I blew it off thinking that anger could not possibly have a negative impact on my writing. Oh how I was wrong. When we try to communicate while we are angry, it comes out whether we want it to or not. And though we may be saying the right thing, many times our anger causes us to say right things the wrong way. Such was the case with me. In my anger I ranted and complained about the societal ills I was comforted with and this can cause people to get defensive. And people who are defensive don’t promote change- they often reinforce and defend the status quo. That is not what I want! My ambition, my aim is for people to see the racial, gender, and socioeconomic disparities and address them until they are fixed. My desire is for people, for communities, and for nations to treat others with a spirit of love and general goodness, instead of holding a person’s skin color, nationality, or gender against them.
In order for me to effectively convey my passions, my heart concerning justice here, I need to speak softly – President Teddy Roosevelt said that. (Note: Roosevelt also said to carry a big stick, and since I do not condone violence, I will be ignoring that part). The author of James in the New Testament of the Bible takes it one step further saying, “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” I think that Roosevelt and definitely James are on the right track here because it is in our soft speaking and humility in approaching any situation that people can hear us.
So that is what I resolve to do – speak softly. Oh, and I also resolve to walk in humility. Pride and arrogance all too often get in the way of God doing what He desires in me. I sense God challenging me to not put my own pride in the way, allowing feelings of what I think I deserve to cause me to be bitter. I am to lay aside jealously and the tendency to compare my life and where I think I should be with others and where they are. Instead, I am invited to walk in love, to walk in grace, and to walk in peace with all.