Just a few random reflections on my 31st birthday:
I was born on this day 31 years ago in the middle of a blizzard in Milwaukee, WI. At 31 years old, I am finally the same age that my mother was when she had me. So she is officially twice my age! Go mom!
Speaking of blizzards, I have celebrated most of my birthdays accompanied with blizzards, wind chill advisories, and all of the other winter related weather maladies. And it sucks! I would like to propose legislation that would allow all of us winter babies (December – February) to have a makeup day in July or August so that we can finally have a party at the beach (if we want) or at least go outside without our nose’s running or getting frostbite.
Speaking of parties, my 3 year old daughter totally thinks that I should have one. She does not get the concept of having a birthday without a party. Hummm, maybe there is something to that. So I am giving everybody a year’s notice – for my 32nd birthday there must be a party (and if you paid attention to the previous reflection, you will understand that it has to be in July at a beach).
I have two manuscripts that I need to complete. One ‘Embracing a Holistic Faith’ just needs to be published. The other ‘Waiting on Salvation’ needs to have another round of revisions but is close to being done. Somebody please feel free to punch me in the arm at my birthday party at the beach next year in July if I don’t have them done.
On a more serious piece, I have declared this year the year of the push. Pushing hard against barriers and obstacles that want to limit the aspirations of black women. Yes that! Because women face a lot of obstacles when it comes to advancing in their career and blacks, from this country’s inception, face all kinds of push back and lids. Put them together, like God did with me, and we have a total mess. But this year, things are going to change in Jesus’ name. In spite of my education and experience, ambition and talent, I have become aware that there is a world out there that would like to keep little black girls in their place. But if you have not been paying attention the previous reflections, this little girl is ALL GROWN UP, so get out my way world. I’m doing this God’s way, not yours, which means I will aggressively pursue the plans and visions God has laid out for me whether it pleases those around me or not. I will not be defined by others perceptions, thoughts and goals for me, and I will definitely not be limited by what others perceive as threats because of my success. I can do me and be successful at that, and guess what, you still get to do you – the idea that my presence threatens your being is idiotic and quite demonic if you ask me.
I am also aware that over the last few years, my views on a lot of things have drastically changed. I would not say that I have become ‘radicalized’ because I don’t think I have. But I have begun to reject certain ideologies (regarding politics and economics especially) that I have always taken at face value simply because someone said that the American way = God’s way. As I read the Bible, I understand that this is not the case and that the American way has drastically enforced a system of racial superiority, disinvesting people of color and indigenous people generation after generation. In my quest for biblical justice, I am beginning to understand that asking for people of color to be fully integrated and included into a system that was designed to oppress other people doesn’t make sense as the system will always create an underclass – this is the only way that it can thrive. Instead, we need to break the system and create a new one that not only considers the interests of the people that live in this country but every human being that walks the face of this earth. That may not be the American way, but this more accurately reflects God’s way.
I have the most amazing husband in the world who really knows how to make his wife feel special on her birthday. He says the sweetest things.
And I also have the sweetest and most adorable children in the world. They make me smile all day long, and am blessed to be their mother. Am also glad that I am 31 and am officially done birthing children which is great because my body has been either pregnant or nursing for over 4 years and is tired. Goal accomplished.
With that, I have not fasted (well at least from food) in over four years. This is one spiritual discipline I have been missing out on, and will gladly take up again once I am finished nursing in 2 years.
I really want to adopt “Just for Today” by India Aire as the theme song for my life. In fact, I will take just about every song she has and compile it into my life’s soundtrack.